Within our Hearts

Having a sibling is one of the highest honors and greatest joys the universe can bestow upon a person. I am fortunate enough to have been given three wonderful siblings but I would like to focus specifically on sisterhood. Sisterhood has been on my mind lately as I've watched my three daughters grow into each other with the many changes occurring in their lives. As the older sister in my own family-of-origin, I have vivid memories of the intense love I felt for my younger siblings and the protective instincts I felt toward them. This priceless photo of my two youngest daughters captures the essence of this energy. The body language between them displays the yearning and magnetism drawing them together, like two stars in alignment that are supposed to be together in this life. It reminds me of how I felt as a bright eyed 8 year old girl, even at the baby shower prior to my sister's birth. In those times we did not know ahead of time the gender of the baby, so everything was green and yellow. I already had a brother who I absolutely adored to pieces. THE cutest brother I could have imagined, a little blond-headed cupcake. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. But, I desperately wanted a sister and wanted the "new baby" to be a girl. I couldn't have been more ecstatic when a beautiful baby girl was brought home from the hospital. She was as precious as a china doll, and could not have been more adorable. As she grew into herself I couldn't imagine her being more perfect. She was MINE. I shared everything about myself with her, and once I was old enough to understand my potential influence, I saw her as an opportunity to extend everything good about myself into her. However, she had so much goodness already within her, that it reflected back to me and we lived in each others warmth and sunshine.  I sensed her absorbing everything she saw in me and it made me want to be a better person. When I was away at college 20 years ago, she sent me letters and artwork which I still keep. She learned the lyrics to all my favorite songs and would sing them with me, even though my taste in music was not exactly popular. One of my favorite memories with my sister is when she was 10 years old, she visited me at college. There was a steep hill near my building on the campus, which we called a ravine (but it wasn't really a true ravine). Her idea, we took some blankets outside, wrapped ourselves up in them, and began rolling down the side of the hill. It was amazing fun, we were shouting with glee, and eventually some of my classmates walked by. They looked at me strangely, laughing at my absurdity, but ultimately they decided to join us in the fun! There were about 5 of us out there rolling down the hill in blankets with my little sister. Several of the campus nuns stopped and watched us in enjoyment. Today we still talk about the day we rolled down "the ravine". This memory exemplifies everything about my relationship with my sister. As adults, the age difference between us now does not seem to matter anymore, so we are best friends.  Our life paths have been quite different, but she is still the only person on earth that can know me in this way and our souls are permanently connected and intertwined. This is the vision that I have in mind for the futures of my three girls, and I cannot wait to watch them experience it with each other as they grow.

Within our Hands

 We hold tremendous power and energy within our human hands. Reflexology and other alternative medicine practices posit that life energy (chi) can be manipulated by human hands, and in human hands and feet as well as other areas of the body, to release blockages that prevent healing. These ideas are generally rejected by traditional medicine due to a lack of scientific evidence, however practices such as Healing Touch, therapeutic massage, and acupressure continue to steadily gain ground as a solid presence within the medical community.

If you consider it from a physiology perspective...our hands are innervated by three sets of nerves: the median, the ulnar, and the radius nerves.  These nerves course through the arm all the way up to the spinal cord and midbrain via the brachial plexus. As in other sensory and motor systems of the human body, both afferent and efferent signals are communicated to and from the cortex, specifically the premotor and primary motor cortex located and the juncture between the frontal and parietal lobes of the cerebrum. From this point a sensory feedback loop is initiated via the basal ganglia, the thalamus, and the cerebellum. This feedback loop is primarily thought to be responsible for motor planning and execution. It would be preposterous to think that the electrical energy produced by the efferent neural feedback simply disappears when it reaches one's fingertips.  This takes me into a gray area since as a scientist, it is of utmost concern that there is no scientific evidence or even a testable method by which to support any theory about what happens to this efferent energy, specifically whether it courses beyond the confines of an individual's fingertips. However, if not, I would like an explanation otherwise as to why the practices of touch based therapies are so incredibly successful.

A universal law of physics that may be implicated or further support this idea is the Law of Resonance. If you have ever worked with tuning forks, or handbells, or even glasses of water filled to different levels, you are familiar with this concept. If an object vibrates at a certain rate of vibration (frequency or Hz), everything in its vicinity that has the same vibration as a dormant possibility will start vibrating at that frequency. This law applies to everything in the physical world, from sub-atomic particles to cosmic proportion. In this sense, I have a very preliminary, nebulous haze of a theory about some kind of resonance transfer function occuring in the neurovascular system, similar to what happens in an electrical circuit when energy is transmitted wirelessly between two resonant coils.

Whatever the explanation, I am certain that there is SOME scientific reason for this phenomenon that we are not yet advanced enough to understand. This gift to humanity is constantly present in our everyday interactions, when we shake hands with each other, when we place our hand on the shoulder of a friend in need, when we hold hands, when we kiss the open palm of a newborn or toddler. The potential contained in these actions is overwhelming. I am amazed at the power we hold within our hands. 

And with that I share with you a lovely poem written by a fabulous and accomplished poet, New york native Jane Hirschfield.

A Hand
by Jane Hirshfield
A hand is not four fingers and a thumb.Nor is it palm and knuckles, not ligaments or the fat's yellow pillow, not tendons, star of the wristbone, meander of veins. A hand is not the thick thatch of its lines with their infinite dramas, nor what it has written, not on the page, not on the ecstatic body. Nor is the hand its meadows of holding, of shaping— not sponge of rising yeast-bread, not rotor pin's smoothness, not ink. The maple's green hands do not cup the proliferant rain. What empties itself falls into the place that is open. A hand turned upward holds only a single, transparent question. Unanswerable, humming like bees, it rises, swarms, departs.

The Power of Movement

The mind-body connection has long fascinated me. I carry a strong belief that there are few other ways to connect with your spirituality, than through physical movement. I discovered this as a young dance student more than 30 years ago. As I learned ways to move my own body in elegant and beautiful ways, which were also physically demanding, I found my worries and concerns for the troubles of life slipping away, and becoming less overwhelming. My self confidence increased, and my anxiety and depression decreased. Body movement can be not only a form of exercise for physical health, but also a form of creative self expression and an outlet for tapping into boundless spiritual energy. According to authors Andrew Newberg and Eugene D'Aquili, (Why God won't go away: Brain science and the biology of belief, 2001), humans possess a neurobiological mechanism for spirituality which takes place within the orientation association area located in the posterior superior parietal lobe of the cerebral cortex. The primary job of this area is perceptual judgements of a person's orientation in physical space. This area is constantly performing advanced calculations of angles and distances to assist us in navigating and maneuvering ourselves through the environment.  Without normal function of this area we would not be able to lie down or stand up, walk down a hallway or staircase safely. Interestingly enough, studies using fMRI and SPECT scans have shown this orientation association area to also be the center of furious neurological activity during deep states of meditation or prayer. Therefore, it only makes sense that refining the function of this area through proprioceptive inputs such as dance, yoga, pilates, ballet, tai chi, and other forms of movement based activities will strengthen one's ability to have a relationship with a higher power. I believe this even extends to non-dance movement such as jogging, hiking, and cycling that require balance and visual coordination. By stimulating the cortical neural pathways leading to the superior posterior parietal orientation association area, through exercise, dance and other physical activities, we gain the cognitive strength to form a deeper connection with our spiritual selves, and transcend our material existence for an inner peace that is more real.

How to Forgive

When you have been hurt in some way by another person, it is useless to pursue healing by any avenue other than from within. The first step toward gaining an understanding of what has happened is to remove all subjective thinking. Human behavior is rarely personal, but more frequently the result of conditioning.  A person's prior experiences can lead to judgement errors and preconceived notions.  A breakdown in communication occurs due to erroneous assumptions based on the irrelevant past. By gaining an understanding of the true source of a person's behaviors and why they manifest, you are making progress toward a healthy perspective. When you are able to stop personalizing the behavior of another toward you or your loved one, you can place the problem in its true perspective, and the responsibility for the problem with its true owner. The next step is to examine your responses and make an accurate and objective determination as to your contribution to the problem. Did you fail to communicate? Did you perpetuate a negative cycle? Did you accept unacceptable behavior and allow expectations to develop? Did you act out in an aggressive or passive aggressive manner? Did you perceive something as being personal or more negative than intended? Become willing to acknowledge and take ownership for your role in the matter. Now, once you have identified which part of the problem belongs to you, and which part of the problem lies elsewhere, you must accept that you have no control over the other person's part of the problem. Upon the realization that you are not responsible for correcting the entire problem single-handedly, and that the responses of others originate within them and not because of you, you will experience a great deal of relief. No one can change the behavior of another person. But, we do have the choice to change our own behavior and thinking. Once you are removed from the painful situation, it is time to evaluate how your experiences led you to make the choices that put you there in the first place. If at this point you are still unable to forgive, then just work on forgiving yourself. Self-forgiveness is a major hurdle in the journey to forgiving others. Learn to stop criticizing yourself for having negative feelings or poor responses. Allow yourself to experience those painful feelings, acknowledge them, and then, let them go.  This is a very important step toward being ready to make amends. Always remember that making amends does not mean that you are releasing responsibility of the other party or accepting the hurtful actions. And it certainly does not mean allowing it to happen again. It simply means that you are willing to allow the burden of this weight to be lifted from your shoulders, and experience new life and enlightenment, free of concern from a prior hurt. Make the decision now, to have the courage to change the things you can.

An Experiment in Randomized Introspection

Sky blue, new direction

I've only made one decision about this blog. This blog is not going to be about my everyday trivialities or commonplace events in the life of me or my family. As my children have long been the center of my universe, it is time for me to reacquaint myself with my pre-maternal consciousness. I've considered many possible themes for the topic of my writing, but I will not narrow it down to a fine focus because I hope to explore many ideas here. So, ultimately this page is about me, my thoughts, my memories, my interests, my perspectives, my passions, my concerns, my fantasies, my observations, and my vision. The topics will vary widely but hopefully the ever present stochastic resonance that is my consciousness will shine through and make itself apparent to any potential audience that may benefit from finding a kindred spirit in me. In turn, perhaps connecting with the universe in a new way will initiate a new period of growth, healing, and rejuvenation for my spirit. Stay tuned for further updates as I perform Fast Fourier Transform of the mind in a valiant, courageous, and ruthless attempt to identify my own full range of frequencies.